Life runs with its own set of time schedules put in place by the Maker. Each year there are four seasons, often marked by distinct and noticeable changes. Each day the sun comes up and heralds a new beginning, whilst darkness holds night captive. Babies generally take nine months to fully develop before entering the world and being embraced. Time sets change and life in motion. Yet God’s timing is often contrary to the ways of man. The Bible tells us for Him one day is like a thousand years and a thousand years are like one day. Mostly we can accept this, unless it involves some promise God has made us and then suddenly we aren’t patient any longer. When we long for change; when we cry out for healing; when we beg for restoration; when out of our brokenness and pain we desperately ask God to intervene and quietly He promises He will step in … but nothing changes. When this happens, we wrestle with God’s economy and His mysterious ways.
For many years I have been asking God for healing. My body regularly struggles to keep up with life and all I have been called to do for God’s Kingdom. Sometimes my pain is so intense, I wonder how I can last a few more hours, let alone a few more days or years. However, God has recently been intent on reminding me of His promise to bring healing and freedom to my life. Those promises have been waiting in que to be responded and acted upon for a couple of decades. Whilst I am in good company with many Biblical heroes who had to wait patiently for God’s promises to unfold, and many saints over the course of history, it hasn’t strengthened my resolve not to whine or complain. The other day was no exception.
Standing in my bush chapel, I ranted, I raved, I cried, I yelled and I grumbled.
“My Jesus, I love You with everything I have but sometimes I don’t think I can do this anymore. Either I have heard You wrong about Your many repeated promises to heal me or You have changed your mind. Don’t You love me? Don’t You love me enough to fulfil what You have spoken over me? Can’t You see You are breaking my heart?”
With clenched fists and flowing tears, I heard God’s soft response and it totally undid me.
“Oh, my little one, how I love you. You have not heard me wrong. I have indeed promised to heal you many times over. However, you have also asked to be a heartfelt sound and to truly know my heart, but that means I often need to lead you on difficult journeys. Do you know how many times my children make promises to Me?
‘Lord, You will always be the love of my life.’
‘Lord, I promise to always make You my priority.’
‘Lord, I will go anywhere to serve You.’
‘Lord everything that I have belongs to You and I will freely give as you direct me.’
Yet everyday My children are forgetting their promises to Me and it is breaking My heart. They fall in love with someone else. They no longer have time for Me. They won’t reach out to the neighbour across the back fence let alone travel the world. They have become obsessed with their possessions and in the process are losing their spiritual gifting’s and opportunities.
Little one, each day the cry of My heart is: My children, I love You with everything I have. I gave everything for You. Either I have heard you wrong about your many repeated promises to worship Me or you have changed your mind. Don’t you love me? Don’t you love me enough to fulfil what you have spoken to Me? Can’t you see you are breaking My heart?”
With those words, I fell to my knees. I sobbed. I repented. I realised so often we hold God accountable for His promises to us yet continue to break every promise we have ever made to Him. We long for God to act immediately in our lives and yet want to wait until everything falls into place perfectly before we honour our words to Him.
We need to continue to trust God to fulfil His promises in our lives, but we also need to fulfil what we have promised God. How are you going with your promises? Is it time to put something right?